Blah Therapy

Hey guys,

This will just be a quick update recommending a site that I've found, called Blah Therapy. I came across this a few days ago, and became a registered member with them. It's filled with blogs, groups, Q & A's and other members experiencing either similar, or the same things that you are. You can sign up free of charge, have your own profile where you can talk about anything you want, ask questions, post how you're feeling, whatever you want really. 

This site also gives you the opportunity to anonymously chat to others. You can choose whether you want to be a venter or a listener. Meaning you have the chance to either talk about how you're feeling to someone, help someone else with what they're going through, or both. I've been in a few of the chats myself, and so far I've come across nothing but supportive and thankful people. This site is also another way for you guys to contact me, leave me private or public messages, add me etc. so I'll leave the link down below for any of you that might be interested. Until next time, take care! ♡




http://blahtherapy.com/members/my-own-wonderland/

Being positive

Hey guys,


So I thought I'd just talk briefly about positivity, and happy thinking. Sometimes, as I'm well aware of myself, thinking of the positives is way easier said than done. Sometimes it's just too easy to get held down with all the negative thoughts that start weighing down heavy on you, and just let them take over and get stuck in this rut. That itself is a hard habit to break. 

Personally, it's very easy for me to pay more attention to the negatives. Whether that's the anxiety and depression, or just me in general I don't know. But from quite a young age I've had a fairly cynical and negative outlook on things. I'm also probably one of the most indecisive people you'll meet, and it's because while I'm standing there trying to make a decision on something I'll be trying to look at all the pros and cons of the decision I'm about to make in my mind, looking at every possible situation, the results of my decision, just completely over analysing it in my head. And it drives me mad, as well as others around me I've noticed. I've had this fear of regretting my decisions for as long as I can remember, so it takes me a while to make my mind up. Saying that, in the situations that I'm not being rushed for a decision, it's actually helped me to be thinking of or writing down the pros and cons.Visually being able to see that there could be a good outcome in the situation can be comforting to me, which even if it's only slightly, can make me feel more positive. 

Something that's important is not to let the negative people that you'll come into contact with affect you or change you. Which is again, easier said than done. I've not had a great history of making friends with people that support me and are there for me in the way that I am for them, it's often felt too one sided and I've just been put down and left out of things, which has just made those negative thoughts get worse over time. My contact with those people seemed to just end. And I'm glad it did really. I'd rather have no friends than fake friends. Try not to let those people have any hold over you, if they're not going to accept you for being you and support you then they're not worth it, and they'll only hold you back. You need to do what's best for you. 

When you're in that bad place, try to focus on the things that make you happy. Which can be anything at all, hobbies, music, friends and family, something you're looking forward to etc. just whatever  makes you happiest. Here are some suggestions you could try;


~ Reading positive quotes; They really could change your thoughts in that moment. 
~ Music; Listen to your favourite song, or something motivational and feel good. 
~ List five things that you're grateful for or happy about in your life right now. 
~ Accept the negative thoughts if you can, and try to think of solutions for them. 
~ Be expressive; Being creative, writing, drawing, anything to get those feelings out. 
~ Understand that no one is perfect; Don't dwell on mistakes you think you've made. 
~ Set goals for yourself; Things you want to accomplish, make future plans etc. 
~ Distract yourself; Talk to someone, update your blog, be around positive people. 
~ Spend time with family and friends if you're close, being around my younger cousins can help me. 
~ At a time when you're feeling more positive, try expanding on it by writing down how you're feeling. If there's any particular reason for you feeling more positive, single words describing how you feel etc. that way, the next time you're feeling low, you can look back at it to remind yourself that this feeling doesn't last, and that it is possible for you to be happy. 

I've pretty much covered what helps me to feel more positive and what distracts me in the "My distractions" Update, so feel free to have a look at that if you're interested. But it's usually things like music, films and tv shows, art, family etc. 

I hope this was helpful to you guys, just remember that things aren't always as bad as they seem in the moment. Just because you're going through a bad time now and are experiencing some negative feelings, doesn't mean it's going to last forever. 

A lot of people are going through the same things, you're not as alone as you may think ♡












"The only way to achieve the impossible, is to believe it is possible.”


~ Charles 

Trouble sleeping?

Hey guys,

This is just a quick update for those of you who have problems sleeping. This can be having problems falling asleep, staying asleep or getting up in the morning. This is something quite common for me, and I know how frustrating it is. Being so mentally and emotionally drained and wanting to just sleep for hours when you can't even manage to drift off. So I'm just going to share some things that I do, and some things that have been recommended to me to try to get a better nights sleep. 

Getting off to sleep;


~ A warm bath/shower before going to bed; it'll help to relax you and can be quite soothing. It can also be nice to use your favourite scented products too. (Personally, I love lush products!) but you could also try something lavender scented. As well as being relaxing, this also gives you some wind down time before sleeping, so I do this a lot. 

~ Hot drinks before bed; I would say to avoid coffee, or adding sugar to your drinks. But tea, herbal fruit tea's, and hot chocolate can work quite well. I've heard of a lot of people having the original Horlicks drink before going to bed, as that's advertised as being a before bed drink, aimed at trying to help you sleep better. But personally I've not noticed any difference between that and the other hot drinks. 


~ Wind down activities; things such as reading by low light, watching some tv or a film quietly, listening to soft music for a while before bed could help. For the best chance of getting off to sleep easier, it's not a good idea to keep your brain too active by doing something that takes up a lot of attention and concentration. 

~ Try to make simple preparations for the next day; Chances are, if you're too anxious or stressed about the next day, it's going to make it even harder to get off to sleep as you'll be too busy worrying and all of the negative thoughts will just be going around in your head. Try breaking it down into simple plans, write it down if you need to, or talk to someone if that's possible. It's a gentle way of convincing yourself nothing is going to happen, and you don't need to worry as much as you are. By getting it off your chest, it could make you more relieved or relaxed.  

There's no guaranteed way of preventing yourself from waking up during the night, but if you do, you could try the following. Getting back to sleep;

~ Staying out of your thoughts; I know it's very easy when you are repeatedly waking up to start panicking and becoming stressed over your inability to fall back to sleep. But that will just keep you up longer. Try staying in your relaxed position instead of sitting up. The stress will only encourage 
you to stay awake even longer. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, focus on how you're feeling, and the relaxation. 

~ Relax and don't focus; Don't focus too much on the sleeping itself. If you're laying there repeating in your head "why can't I sleep, I need to go to sleep..." it'll just keep your brain active and encourage the stress and worry. Try to let your mind go blank, you could even try the old counting sheep exercise.  

Getting up in the morning; 

~ Give yourself something to look forward to; For me, it's always helped knowing I have something to look forward to the next day, even if it's just a little something. You can call it your reward for getting up if that suits you. 

~ Messages to yourself; Personally, because of the depression it makes it quite hard even having the motivation to get up some days, which I don't think helps the matter. I've done it a few times where I've set alarms on my phone, or sometimes notes on there with an inspirational quote, or just 
something motivational to remind myself of the good things rather than just how I'm feeling in that moment

Of course none of these are going to have an immediate affect on your sleeping patterns, or even work for you for that matter. Different things work for different people, and some of these things are really only all that good for the short term help, if you've been experiencing bad sleeping problems and have found yourself very tired and lacking a lot of energy during the day, I would suggest seeking advice from a professional. Until next time, sleep tight! ♡










"Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again" 

~ Alice 

My Distractions

Hi guys, 

So in this blog I'm just going to be talking a bit about my distractions from Anxiety and Depression, and just some of the things I enjoy. Distraction may not be the perfect solution for long term issues, but for short term I've found it to be a really useful method! 

Like many of you, music has been a big help to me through the years. There's been plenty of times just listening to a bit of music has made me feel much better. I don't have a favourite artist as such. I just have a lot of favourite songs by different artists. A band that does stick out for me however is Paramore. When I was going through quite a bad time in school, it was roughly around the time that their "Brand new eyes" album came out, which I listened to on repeat almost everyday, I'm still a fan of theirs now. Different music relates to different people and the way they're feeling at that time, in one of my future updates I'll be sharing some songs that have helped me through some bad times, some of myfavourites, songs that I know of that have helped others etc. 

I find writing, art and reading quite relaxing things to do too. Art and writing give me a way to express myself depending on my mood and whatever I feel like doing. They're not things that I necessarily do every day, but they can help. A little distraction of mine also includes my family. I have a very big family, and a few little cousins who I'm very close with. Spending with them can actually make me feel pretty positive and distract me from other thoughts. 

Films and tv shows also play a big part in my distractions. Disney films have always taken the edge off of me feeling down, ever since I was a kid. There's something quite comforting about watching films that I've watched since I was that young, that and they always have this happy ending, where eventually everything makes sense and all the problems work themselves out. Films with complicated plots, mainly horrors and thrillers, are always good as I'm concentrating on them, it helps to distract me and take my mind off of other things. I watch many shows, more than I can keep track of really! But my favourite by far would be The Walking Dead. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something about this show that just acts as a distraction for me. The whole time it's on it gives me something to look forward to every week. And I must admit I always feel a little lost once the season has ended, there's always just been something about this show that's stuck with me since the first episode. 

Another one of my distractions is playing online games. For those of you who know of steam and how it works, that's what I use. It's a distraction for me, and it's also a way for me to feel comfortable socialising when I'm not feeling up to doing it in person. I can be joking around with people in a way that can be more suited to me at times. It can make a difference being behind a computer screen, being able to erase what you're saying if you change your mind, and not having to worry about face-to-face interaction all the time. With this I go through periods of not going on there for ages, to being on there every night. At the moment it's pretty mixed. But I get this sense of comfort on there, like I can be myself. I have a somewhat "strange" sense of humour and because of how some people have reacted to it in the past, it's put me off of being myself. I don't know why, because I've made some great friends online by just being me, so I need to start acting more like myself and not caring what other people think! 


There's a pretty much endless list of things you can do to distract yourself. Other than what I've mentioned, things that could help could include; exercise, puzzles and things that require your attention, talking to friends and going out, knitting, jewellery making, cooking, driving, making a blog of your own, just whatever suits you, there's nothing wrong with experimenting with these things, you could find something that helps! 

"Do you suppose she's a wildflower?"

~ Daisy 

Depression

Hey guys,

So as you can tell, the topic of this update is depression, so here goes. 


At the moment I guess I'm not in the best of places my self, but I'm not fully at my worst. When I am at my worst I won't want to leave my room, never mind my house. I lose interest in the things that would usually distract me or keep me going, and nothing sounds more appealing to me than being curled up in bed listening to music, away from the rest of the world. I lose all desire to do anything and avoid as much communication as possible. Usually I just feel like I need to be left alone to get through it by myself and have the time I need, but that way it can become very easy for me to get stuck in this rut that it takes me a while to get out of. I know sometimes a bit of encouragement and support can go a long way, but it's hard for me to listen to and appreciate any positive advice and what other people think I should do, because I seem to go into this defensive mode where the "No one understands me, or cares" and the "Everyone's against me" thoughts seem to go around in my head. 

Usually putting on a front in public is something I'm pretty used to if I'm honest, but when I'm at my worst that itself just doesn't seem possible. If I have to leave the house when I'm feeling this way I have very teary eyes, I feel tense, insecure and just horrible. It's the worst feeling I've experienced along side panic attacks. 


 Fortunately, though I have a pretty much non existent social life, I do have a family who care and try to support me, and have been doing so for years. Even if sometimes I can't see it and I just think their complaining and pushing me into things, I know they're doing it for my own good. And I appreciate that in my own way once I come out of the other side of it, however long that may take. There's just a lot of differences of opinions, and them constantly wanting to do what's best for me that sometimes makes us clash. I don't suppose it's nice for them seeing me go through some of the things I have been through, but sometimes it feels like they need to remember its not been great for me being the one actually going through it either. 

A majority of the time I just think that my room is my comfort zone, where I feel safe and at ease, so why should I have to leave it? But I have realised that sometimes it can be for the best. Sometimes, with support and encouragement, you just need to try and push yourself out of this, get back on your feet and keep trying. Sure, take the time you need to help yourself feel better, but don't become too comfortable and too afraid to try and help yourself to get well again, I've done it enough myself. And nothing good has come from it. In fact I do it almost every time. I take some time for myself, and that time just doesn't seem to end, I get too comfortable in staying in this little bubble I have at home and don't see any point in changing it. I just keep telling myself that I need more time, which doesn't solve anything, it's just a hard habit to change. 


Some of the signs and symptoms of Depression; 

~ Trouble sleeping; can't get to sleep, keep waking up, difficulty getting up. 
~ Finding it difficult to concentrate and focus on tasks. 
~ Strong feelings of being hopeless and helpless. 
~ Over eating or complete loss of appetite. 
~ Complete loss of interest in things that you would usually enjoy. 
~ Find it hard to control negative thoughts and emotions. 
~ Feeling more irritable, short tempered, aggressive, or restless than usual. 
~ You have thoughts that life is not worth living; Self-harm and suicidal tendencies.  
~ Consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in reckless behaviour. 
~ Reoccurring worries that you're going crazy or mad. 


If you have been experiencing any of the above for a while with no change you could be suffering with a form of Depression. Please don't just "put up with it" seek professional guidance and advice. 


I understand not everyone is receiving support. Which is partly the reason for me setting up my blog and email, to give support to those of you who don't get it anywhere else. You're going through a hard enough time as it is, without not having someone to talk to. Everyone falls down every now and then and just needs someone to help pick them up, that's what I'm here for. And remember, you're not as alone as you may think ♡













"Have I gone mad?"
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."


~ Alice and The Mad Hatter 

General Anxiety

Hey guys,

In this update I'll just be talking a bit about my general anxiety towards things and how it can affect my life and everyday tasks. And also a bit about some symptoms of anxiety disorders. 

In the blog before this I spoke a bit about my social anxiety, my triggers, and the affect it's had on my life so far. My social Anxiety only became more noticeable and obvious around the time I was in year 10 at school. Anxiety as a whole however, I've been experiencing since quite a young age. I would say from the age of about 8/9. It started off as separation anxiety, which just seemed to develop, which I will speak more about in another update. But since that age I've been quite an anxious person, with a fair amount of worries and fears. 

The general anxiety I experience can include excessive worrying over a range of things, nervousness, fears that bad things are going to happen etc. it can affect everyday life as it's hard to stop myself from worrying about some things and it can be a real distraction. It can go one of two ways, say for example I'm really nervous about an interview I have coming up. I will either worry excessively and not be able to stop thinking about what could happen and not be able to focus on other things very well, or I will push it out of my head until the last minute, when all of those worries come flooding in, because I'd suppressed them for so long it's almost like it explodes in my head all at once and I almost go into a state of panic.  

Something I worry/think about a lot is the future, as I know many of you do too. Because I'm still unsure of what I'd like to do with my future, especially career wise. It makes me worry and feel like I'm running out of time to make my mind up. I've always been afraid of having to settle somewhere just because of getting comfortable in that one place. It's a fear that once I become comfortable somewhere, even if it's not where I really want to be, that I'd fear leaving it too much and just stay there forever. So it's almost like I'm avoiding making any decisions and going into anything now, so I can avoid that happening and not have to make a decision on it in the future. If that makes any sense at all. Forever just feels like such a permeant, nerve-racking thought that I can't seem to shake.  


Emotional symptoms of Anxiety can include;

~ Constant worries running through your head. 
~ Feeling like your anxiety is uncontrollable; there is nothing you can do to stop the worrying. 
~ Thoughts about things that make you anxious; which you can't avoid thinking of. 
~ Not being able to tolerate uncertainty; you need to know what’s going to happen in the future. 
~ Worrying about worrying and about your fears so much that you can't focus on other things. 

And some Physical symptoms could include;

~ Feeling tense; having muscle tightness or body aches. 
~ Having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep or getting up. 
~ Not being able to sit still; Feeling edgy, restless, or jumpy. 
~ Stomach problems, nausea. 
~ Reoccurring headaches, migraines, dizziness.   
~ Sudden changes in appetite, often changing of weight gain/loss. 


If you're experiencing some of the above you may also be suffering with some form of anxiety, and you don't have to suffer in silence with it, you're not as alone as you may think ♡









"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes, just one second." 

~ Alice and the White Rabbit 

Social Anxiety

Hey guys,


In this blog I'm just going to be talking a bit about my Social Anxiety and some of my triggers. Social Anxiety is pretty much summed up in the name. But the official definition is known as; "Social anxiety is the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance." Which is very accurate for me. 

Personally, social anxiety plays a big role in my life. I find it very uncomfortable being around large groups of people I'm not familiar with. At times it's been manageable enough for me to handle school, college, family get togethers etc. and there's been other times where I feel completely out of my comfort zone just talking to family, or leaving my house. I've never been one to have a particularly big group of friends, or much of a social life. But it's clearly been getting smaller over time. At the moment I have one friend. Everyone else I've just lost contact with and I've felt too held back with my worries and doubts to try and fix that. The friend I do have, I have known for a few years from school, but unfortunately even this friendship feels as though it's growing apart. And if I'm completely honest, I've never felt more lonely than I have this past year. 

I'd always liked the idea when I was younger of having lots of friends and this growing social life, where I'd never have a boring day because I'd have someone to do things with. But it's just not worked out, and sadly I think I gave up on that idea a while ago, it just didn't seem realistic for me. Saying that, what I've wanted for a long time now was just one friend that I could talk to, someone that would understand how I feel, and that would have time for me, without any judgement. It wouldn't matter if we were being silly and acting stupid, because we were being that way together. To sum it up, just friendship. I believe part of me wants to find that kind of friendship because I've never really been able to experience it. The times in my life where others were making friends, and developing friendships and relationships I was too preoccupied with my anxiety, amongst other things. It's controlled me and stopped me from doing so many things already, and it's something I'm still working on now. As it is now I can be very anxious at times about approaching people, speaking to or being around people that I don't know; I know it's something only I can change for myself, so I need to put myself out there more. It's just difficult to do so when you hardly leave your house, or have people to do things with, but I'm working on it. 

It's by no means an easy thing to have. Sometimes when I'm around people I find myself worrying about everything there is too worry about it seems. One thing is that I think of myself getting my words mixed up and sounding stupid, it's something I've done a few times before and I've felt humiliated and childish. So naturally the way I deal with that is to avoid saying anything. Because the more I worry about mixing my words up, the more uncomfortable I start to feel, then I would be worrying that other people would notice me feeling uncomfortable and ask questions then I feel like I would be more likely to say the wrong thing and it just goes around in this stupid, confusing cycle. 

  Some of my other triggers;

            ~ Being in large groups of people (especially ones that I don't know) 
            ~ Public transport, buses, trains etc. 
            ~ Being in busy places. (Living in Brighton, mainly town and the seafront) 
            ~ Presentations, meetings, interviews. 
            ~ Being in an uncomfortable environment. 
            ~ Primary and secondary school and College were big triggers. 
            ~ Being put on the spot (e.g. Being asked questions ) 
            ~ When I feel I'm being watched or judged. 



When I get the feeling of being overwhelmed by it, it feels like I'm physically locked up. My hands get clammy, I feel very uncomfortable, I worry, feel agitated, and just needing to get myself away from what's making myself feel this way. In worse cases, I can have shortness of breath, feeling slightly paranoid, more discomfort, headaches and feeling sick. Having this also makes me dread most days because of social interaction, as a result of this I often find myself with a low self esteem, a fear of being critisised and judged, and at times trying to avoid eye contact etc. 




That's all for now, unfortunately social anxiety has stopped me from doing many things in my life so far already, as I know it has for some of you. Just remember to stay strong. I'll be uploading another blog with the coping mechanisms, and distractions I've used and come across to try and help you through these times too. I'd love to hear from you guys, so remember to leave messages. ♡












“I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy. My reality is just different from yours.”

~ Cheshire Cat