Being positive

Hey guys,


So I thought I'd just talk briefly about positivity, and happy thinking. Sometimes, as I'm well aware of myself, thinking of the positives is way easier said than done. Sometimes it's just too easy to get held down with all the negative thoughts that start weighing down heavy on you, and just let them take over and get stuck in this rut. That itself is a hard habit to break. 

Personally, it's very easy for me to pay more attention to the negatives. Whether that's the anxiety and depression, or just me in general I don't know. But from quite a young age I've had a fairly cynical and negative outlook on things. I'm also probably one of the most indecisive people you'll meet, and it's because while I'm standing there trying to make a decision on something I'll be trying to look at all the pros and cons of the decision I'm about to make in my mind, looking at every possible situation, the results of my decision, just completely over analysing it in my head. And it drives me mad, as well as others around me I've noticed. I've had this fear of regretting my decisions for as long as I can remember, so it takes me a while to make my mind up. Saying that, in the situations that I'm not being rushed for a decision, it's actually helped me to be thinking of or writing down the pros and cons.Visually being able to see that there could be a good outcome in the situation can be comforting to me, which even if it's only slightly, can make me feel more positive. 

Something that's important is not to let the negative people that you'll come into contact with affect you or change you. Which is again, easier said than done. I've not had a great history of making friends with people that support me and are there for me in the way that I am for them, it's often felt too one sided and I've just been put down and left out of things, which has just made those negative thoughts get worse over time. My contact with those people seemed to just end. And I'm glad it did really. I'd rather have no friends than fake friends. Try not to let those people have any hold over you, if they're not going to accept you for being you and support you then they're not worth it, and they'll only hold you back. You need to do what's best for you. 

When you're in that bad place, try to focus on the things that make you happy. Which can be anything at all, hobbies, music, friends and family, something you're looking forward to etc. just whatever  makes you happiest. Here are some suggestions you could try;


~ Reading positive quotes; They really could change your thoughts in that moment. 
~ Music; Listen to your favourite song, or something motivational and feel good. 
~ List five things that you're grateful for or happy about in your life right now. 
~ Accept the negative thoughts if you can, and try to think of solutions for them. 
~ Be expressive; Being creative, writing, drawing, anything to get those feelings out. 
~ Understand that no one is perfect; Don't dwell on mistakes you think you've made. 
~ Set goals for yourself; Things you want to accomplish, make future plans etc. 
~ Distract yourself; Talk to someone, update your blog, be around positive people. 
~ Spend time with family and friends if you're close, being around my younger cousins can help me. 
~ At a time when you're feeling more positive, try expanding on it by writing down how you're feeling. If there's any particular reason for you feeling more positive, single words describing how you feel etc. that way, the next time you're feeling low, you can look back at it to remind yourself that this feeling doesn't last, and that it is possible for you to be happy. 

I've pretty much covered what helps me to feel more positive and what distracts me in the "My distractions" Update, so feel free to have a look at that if you're interested. But it's usually things like music, films and tv shows, art, family etc. 

I hope this was helpful to you guys, just remember that things aren't always as bad as they seem in the moment. Just because you're going through a bad time now and are experiencing some negative feelings, doesn't mean it's going to last forever. 

A lot of people are going through the same things, you're not as alone as you may think ♡












"The only way to achieve the impossible, is to believe it is possible.”


~ Charles 

My Distractions

Hi guys, 

So in this blog I'm just going to be talking a bit about my distractions from Anxiety and Depression, and just some of the things I enjoy. Distraction may not be the perfect solution for long term issues, but for short term I've found it to be a really useful method! 

Like many of you, music has been a big help to me through the years. There's been plenty of times just listening to a bit of music has made me feel much better. I don't have a favourite artist as such. I just have a lot of favourite songs by different artists. A band that does stick out for me however is Paramore. When I was going through quite a bad time in school, it was roughly around the time that their "Brand new eyes" album came out, which I listened to on repeat almost everyday, I'm still a fan of theirs now. Different music relates to different people and the way they're feeling at that time, in one of my future updates I'll be sharing some songs that have helped me through some bad times, some of myfavourites, songs that I know of that have helped others etc. 

I find writing, art and reading quite relaxing things to do too. Art and writing give me a way to express myself depending on my mood and whatever I feel like doing. They're not things that I necessarily do every day, but they can help. A little distraction of mine also includes my family. I have a very big family, and a few little cousins who I'm very close with. Spending with them can actually make me feel pretty positive and distract me from other thoughts. 

Films and tv shows also play a big part in my distractions. Disney films have always taken the edge off of me feeling down, ever since I was a kid. There's something quite comforting about watching films that I've watched since I was that young, that and they always have this happy ending, where eventually everything makes sense and all the problems work themselves out. Films with complicated plots, mainly horrors and thrillers, are always good as I'm concentrating on them, it helps to distract me and take my mind off of other things. I watch many shows, more than I can keep track of really! But my favourite by far would be The Walking Dead. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something about this show that just acts as a distraction for me. The whole time it's on it gives me something to look forward to every week. And I must admit I always feel a little lost once the season has ended, there's always just been something about this show that's stuck with me since the first episode. 

Another one of my distractions is playing online games. For those of you who know of steam and how it works, that's what I use. It's a distraction for me, and it's also a way for me to feel comfortable socialising when I'm not feeling up to doing it in person. I can be joking around with people in a way that can be more suited to me at times. It can make a difference being behind a computer screen, being able to erase what you're saying if you change your mind, and not having to worry about face-to-face interaction all the time. With this I go through periods of not going on there for ages, to being on there every night. At the moment it's pretty mixed. But I get this sense of comfort on there, like I can be myself. I have a somewhat "strange" sense of humour and because of how some people have reacted to it in the past, it's put me off of being myself. I don't know why, because I've made some great friends online by just being me, so I need to start acting more like myself and not caring what other people think! 


There's a pretty much endless list of things you can do to distract yourself. Other than what I've mentioned, things that could help could include; exercise, puzzles and things that require your attention, talking to friends and going out, knitting, jewellery making, cooking, driving, making a blog of your own, just whatever suits you, there's nothing wrong with experimenting with these things, you could find something that helps! 

"Do you suppose she's a wildflower?"

~ Daisy 

Depression

Hey guys,

So as you can tell, the topic of this update is depression, so here goes. 


At the moment I guess I'm not in the best of places my self, but I'm not fully at my worst. When I am at my worst I won't want to leave my room, never mind my house. I lose interest in the things that would usually distract me or keep me going, and nothing sounds more appealing to me than being curled up in bed listening to music, away from the rest of the world. I lose all desire to do anything and avoid as much communication as possible. Usually I just feel like I need to be left alone to get through it by myself and have the time I need, but that way it can become very easy for me to get stuck in this rut that it takes me a while to get out of. I know sometimes a bit of encouragement and support can go a long way, but it's hard for me to listen to and appreciate any positive advice and what other people think I should do, because I seem to go into this defensive mode where the "No one understands me, or cares" and the "Everyone's against me" thoughts seem to go around in my head. 

Usually putting on a front in public is something I'm pretty used to if I'm honest, but when I'm at my worst that itself just doesn't seem possible. If I have to leave the house when I'm feeling this way I have very teary eyes, I feel tense, insecure and just horrible. It's the worst feeling I've experienced along side panic attacks. 


 Fortunately, though I have a pretty much non existent social life, I do have a family who care and try to support me, and have been doing so for years. Even if sometimes I can't see it and I just think their complaining and pushing me into things, I know they're doing it for my own good. And I appreciate that in my own way once I come out of the other side of it, however long that may take. There's just a lot of differences of opinions, and them constantly wanting to do what's best for me that sometimes makes us clash. I don't suppose it's nice for them seeing me go through some of the things I have been through, but sometimes it feels like they need to remember its not been great for me being the one actually going through it either. 

A majority of the time I just think that my room is my comfort zone, where I feel safe and at ease, so why should I have to leave it? But I have realised that sometimes it can be for the best. Sometimes, with support and encouragement, you just need to try and push yourself out of this, get back on your feet and keep trying. Sure, take the time you need to help yourself feel better, but don't become too comfortable and too afraid to try and help yourself to get well again, I've done it enough myself. And nothing good has come from it. In fact I do it almost every time. I take some time for myself, and that time just doesn't seem to end, I get too comfortable in staying in this little bubble I have at home and don't see any point in changing it. I just keep telling myself that I need more time, which doesn't solve anything, it's just a hard habit to change. 


Some of the signs and symptoms of Depression; 

~ Trouble sleeping; can't get to sleep, keep waking up, difficulty getting up. 
~ Finding it difficult to concentrate and focus on tasks. 
~ Strong feelings of being hopeless and helpless. 
~ Over eating or complete loss of appetite. 
~ Complete loss of interest in things that you would usually enjoy. 
~ Find it hard to control negative thoughts and emotions. 
~ Feeling more irritable, short tempered, aggressive, or restless than usual. 
~ You have thoughts that life is not worth living; Self-harm and suicidal tendencies.  
~ Consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in reckless behaviour. 
~ Reoccurring worries that you're going crazy or mad. 


If you have been experiencing any of the above for a while with no change you could be suffering with a form of Depression. Please don't just "put up with it" seek professional guidance and advice. 


I understand not everyone is receiving support. Which is partly the reason for me setting up my blog and email, to give support to those of you who don't get it anywhere else. You're going through a hard enough time as it is, without not having someone to talk to. Everyone falls down every now and then and just needs someone to help pick them up, that's what I'm here for. And remember, you're not as alone as you may think ♡













"Have I gone mad?"
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."


~ Alice and The Mad Hatter 

An Introduction

Hi Guys,

I thought a good way to start this off would be an introduction. A little information about myself, and what I will be blogging about. I will be blogging about the hidden issues some people are dealing with on a daily basis, mainly struggles with Anxiety and Depression. But also, the things that come along with them. I've been experiencing things like this from a young age, and I know that sometimes it can make a difference just to know that you're not alone, and that there is someone you can talk to. I will leave my email for any of you to contact me if you have any questions, need advice or someone  to talk to. I am in no way a professional or a counsellor, I'm just someone with a bit of experience and more than likely, I'll know how you're feeling. I will be sharing coping mechanisms I have come across, my own experiences and distractions, likes and dislikes, and just opening up to you.

 A little about me then, I'm a nineteen year old girl from Brighton, who lives with Anxiety and Depression among other things which I will speak more in detail about in my blog. I've been considering starting a blog for a while but I've always felt too held back to do so for some reason. But now I've realised that by starting a blog, I have the opportunity to help other people, as well as myself. If I could help just one other person out there then this will be worth it. 

I have a fair amount of free time on my hands at the moment so I will be around a lot to check my emails and write posts. I will to reply to every email, so feel free to send a message;  

my-own-wonderland@hotmail.com




♡