Blah Therapy

Hey guys,

This will just be a quick update recommending a site that I've found, called Blah Therapy. I came across this a few days ago, and became a registered member with them. It's filled with blogs, groups, Q & A's and other members experiencing either similar, or the same things that you are. You can sign up free of charge, have your own profile where you can talk about anything you want, ask questions, post how you're feeling, whatever you want really. 

This site also gives you the opportunity to anonymously chat to others. You can choose whether you want to be a venter or a listener. Meaning you have the chance to either talk about how you're feeling to someone, help someone else with what they're going through, or both. I've been in a few of the chats myself, and so far I've come across nothing but supportive and thankful people. This site is also another way for you guys to contact me, leave me private or public messages, add me etc. so I'll leave the link down below for any of you that might be interested. Until next time, take care! ♡




http://blahtherapy.com/members/my-own-wonderland/

My Distractions

Hi guys, 

So in this blog I'm just going to be talking a bit about my distractions from Anxiety and Depression, and just some of the things I enjoy. Distraction may not be the perfect solution for long term issues, but for short term I've found it to be a really useful method! 

Like many of you, music has been a big help to me through the years. There's been plenty of times just listening to a bit of music has made me feel much better. I don't have a favourite artist as such. I just have a lot of favourite songs by different artists. A band that does stick out for me however is Paramore. When I was going through quite a bad time in school, it was roughly around the time that their "Brand new eyes" album came out, which I listened to on repeat almost everyday, I'm still a fan of theirs now. Different music relates to different people and the way they're feeling at that time, in one of my future updates I'll be sharing some songs that have helped me through some bad times, some of myfavourites, songs that I know of that have helped others etc. 

I find writing, art and reading quite relaxing things to do too. Art and writing give me a way to express myself depending on my mood and whatever I feel like doing. They're not things that I necessarily do every day, but they can help. A little distraction of mine also includes my family. I have a very big family, and a few little cousins who I'm very close with. Spending with them can actually make me feel pretty positive and distract me from other thoughts. 

Films and tv shows also play a big part in my distractions. Disney films have always taken the edge off of me feeling down, ever since I was a kid. There's something quite comforting about watching films that I've watched since I was that young, that and they always have this happy ending, where eventually everything makes sense and all the problems work themselves out. Films with complicated plots, mainly horrors and thrillers, are always good as I'm concentrating on them, it helps to distract me and take my mind off of other things. I watch many shows, more than I can keep track of really! But my favourite by far would be The Walking Dead. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something about this show that just acts as a distraction for me. The whole time it's on it gives me something to look forward to every week. And I must admit I always feel a little lost once the season has ended, there's always just been something about this show that's stuck with me since the first episode. 

Another one of my distractions is playing online games. For those of you who know of steam and how it works, that's what I use. It's a distraction for me, and it's also a way for me to feel comfortable socialising when I'm not feeling up to doing it in person. I can be joking around with people in a way that can be more suited to me at times. It can make a difference being behind a computer screen, being able to erase what you're saying if you change your mind, and not having to worry about face-to-face interaction all the time. With this I go through periods of not going on there for ages, to being on there every night. At the moment it's pretty mixed. But I get this sense of comfort on there, like I can be myself. I have a somewhat "strange" sense of humour and because of how some people have reacted to it in the past, it's put me off of being myself. I don't know why, because I've made some great friends online by just being me, so I need to start acting more like myself and not caring what other people think! 


There's a pretty much endless list of things you can do to distract yourself. Other than what I've mentioned, things that could help could include; exercise, puzzles and things that require your attention, talking to friends and going out, knitting, jewellery making, cooking, driving, making a blog of your own, just whatever suits you, there's nothing wrong with experimenting with these things, you could find something that helps! 

"Do you suppose she's a wildflower?"

~ Daisy 

Social Anxiety

Hey guys,


In this blog I'm just going to be talking a bit about my Social Anxiety and some of my triggers. Social Anxiety is pretty much summed up in the name. But the official definition is known as; "Social anxiety is the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance." Which is very accurate for me. 

Personally, social anxiety plays a big role in my life. I find it very uncomfortable being around large groups of people I'm not familiar with. At times it's been manageable enough for me to handle school, college, family get togethers etc. and there's been other times where I feel completely out of my comfort zone just talking to family, or leaving my house. I've never been one to have a particularly big group of friends, or much of a social life. But it's clearly been getting smaller over time. At the moment I have one friend. Everyone else I've just lost contact with and I've felt too held back with my worries and doubts to try and fix that. The friend I do have, I have known for a few years from school, but unfortunately even this friendship feels as though it's growing apart. And if I'm completely honest, I've never felt more lonely than I have this past year. 

I'd always liked the idea when I was younger of having lots of friends and this growing social life, where I'd never have a boring day because I'd have someone to do things with. But it's just not worked out, and sadly I think I gave up on that idea a while ago, it just didn't seem realistic for me. Saying that, what I've wanted for a long time now was just one friend that I could talk to, someone that would understand how I feel, and that would have time for me, without any judgement. It wouldn't matter if we were being silly and acting stupid, because we were being that way together. To sum it up, just friendship. I believe part of me wants to find that kind of friendship because I've never really been able to experience it. The times in my life where others were making friends, and developing friendships and relationships I was too preoccupied with my anxiety, amongst other things. It's controlled me and stopped me from doing so many things already, and it's something I'm still working on now. As it is now I can be very anxious at times about approaching people, speaking to or being around people that I don't know; I know it's something only I can change for myself, so I need to put myself out there more. It's just difficult to do so when you hardly leave your house, or have people to do things with, but I'm working on it. 

It's by no means an easy thing to have. Sometimes when I'm around people I find myself worrying about everything there is too worry about it seems. One thing is that I think of myself getting my words mixed up and sounding stupid, it's something I've done a few times before and I've felt humiliated and childish. So naturally the way I deal with that is to avoid saying anything. Because the more I worry about mixing my words up, the more uncomfortable I start to feel, then I would be worrying that other people would notice me feeling uncomfortable and ask questions then I feel like I would be more likely to say the wrong thing and it just goes around in this stupid, confusing cycle. 

  Some of my other triggers;

            ~ Being in large groups of people (especially ones that I don't know) 
            ~ Public transport, buses, trains etc. 
            ~ Being in busy places. (Living in Brighton, mainly town and the seafront) 
            ~ Presentations, meetings, interviews. 
            ~ Being in an uncomfortable environment. 
            ~ Primary and secondary school and College were big triggers. 
            ~ Being put on the spot (e.g. Being asked questions ) 
            ~ When I feel I'm being watched or judged. 



When I get the feeling of being overwhelmed by it, it feels like I'm physically locked up. My hands get clammy, I feel very uncomfortable, I worry, feel agitated, and just needing to get myself away from what's making myself feel this way. In worse cases, I can have shortness of breath, feeling slightly paranoid, more discomfort, headaches and feeling sick. Having this also makes me dread most days because of social interaction, as a result of this I often find myself with a low self esteem, a fear of being critisised and judged, and at times trying to avoid eye contact etc. 




That's all for now, unfortunately social anxiety has stopped me from doing many things in my life so far already, as I know it has for some of you. Just remember to stay strong. I'll be uploading another blog with the coping mechanisms, and distractions I've used and come across to try and help you through these times too. I'd love to hear from you guys, so remember to leave messages. ♡












“I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy. My reality is just different from yours.”

~ Cheshire Cat

An Introduction

Hi Guys,

I thought a good way to start this off would be an introduction. A little information about myself, and what I will be blogging about. I will be blogging about the hidden issues some people are dealing with on a daily basis, mainly struggles with Anxiety and Depression. But also, the things that come along with them. I've been experiencing things like this from a young age, and I know that sometimes it can make a difference just to know that you're not alone, and that there is someone you can talk to. I will leave my email for any of you to contact me if you have any questions, need advice or someone  to talk to. I am in no way a professional or a counsellor, I'm just someone with a bit of experience and more than likely, I'll know how you're feeling. I will be sharing coping mechanisms I have come across, my own experiences and distractions, likes and dislikes, and just opening up to you.

 A little about me then, I'm a nineteen year old girl from Brighton, who lives with Anxiety and Depression among other things which I will speak more in detail about in my blog. I've been considering starting a blog for a while but I've always felt too held back to do so for some reason. But now I've realised that by starting a blog, I have the opportunity to help other people, as well as myself. If I could help just one other person out there then this will be worth it. 

I have a fair amount of free time on my hands at the moment so I will be around a lot to check my emails and write posts. I will to reply to every email, so feel free to send a message;  

my-own-wonderland@hotmail.com




♡